Crimeshoppers

"[In the living room playing videogames]
P1:
BRANDO: You hear about that guy who tried to rob a bank with a live chicken?
TREY: I’m guessing it didn’t go as egg-spected.
P2:
BRANDO: There's so much insane stuff on the news these days.
TREY: I think it's social media, man – we just HEAR about it more, it’s amplified.
P3:
TREY: If you look at the year over year stats, crime's at an all-time low.
BRANDO: So we’re actually in the safest time ever? Huh, who knew?
P4:
[GNOME SANE outside the window looking evil.]"