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#597  •  May 14, 2025

Bar None

"P1:
[Jay, drunk as hell, leans over the counter at a bar]
JAY: I’ll take a stout.
[Employee looks at him with a polite, slightly confused expression.]
EMPLOYEE: I’m sorry, we don’t have those.
P2:
[Jay squints as he leans further over the counter, getting more insistent.]
JAY: Alright, a lager then.
EMPLOYEE: No.
JAY: Pale ale?
EMPLOYEE: No.
JAY: Alright, it’s early but… but I guess I can switch to whiskey. What have you got?
EMPLOYEE: We have NO whiskey, sir!
P3:
[Jay, clearly frustrated and confused, raises his hands in a dramatic gesture.]
JAY: What kind of bar is this anyway?
P4:
[Wide shot reveals the Apple Genius Bar with the Apple logo at the top. Jay is now passed out on the counter, drooling slightly. The Employee looks bewildered.] "

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