California Patch
Sep 17, 2026•#723
Pretty sure that toilet was installed upside down.
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Beer Jerky
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California Patch
Panel 1
[Interior, ROB’s parents’ house. It’s wrecked.]
TREY: Okay, technically the house is destroyed but maybe meat stains are trending?
THE ROB: If my parents come home I’m screwed.
TREY: You’re an adult… ah fuck it whatever - to the hardware store!
Panel 2:
[In coveralls painting and shit]
NARRATOR: Later…
TREY: Pretty sure that ceiling fan is installed upside down.
THE ROB: Welp, it took all my profits but I’m fairly sure everything is fixed.
ROB DAD (off panel): Fixed?
Panel 3:
THE ROB: Uh... NOTHING! Mom? Dad? what’r you guys doing home!?
ROB DAD: We thought we'd come by and check our investment.
Panel 4:
Rob: Wow, I guess you could say a child is an investment of sorts since--
Rob Dad: We mean our HOUSE, son. …and why’s it smell so fuckin’ MEATY in here?
[Interior, ROB’s parents’ house. It’s wrecked.]
TREY: Okay, technically the house is destroyed but maybe meat stains are trending?
THE ROB: If my parents come home I’m screwed.
TREY: You’re an adult… ah fuck it whatever - to the hardware store!
Panel 2:
[In coveralls painting and shit]
NARRATOR: Later…
TREY: Pretty sure that ceiling fan is installed upside down.
THE ROB: Welp, it took all my profits but I’m fairly sure everything is fixed.
ROB DAD (off panel): Fixed?
Panel 3:
THE ROB: Uh... NOTHING! Mom? Dad? what’r you guys doing home!?
ROB DAD: We thought we'd come by and check our investment.
Panel 4:
Rob: Wow, I guess you could say a child is an investment of sorts since--
Rob Dad: We mean our HOUSE, son. …and why’s it smell so fuckin’ MEATY in here?
