[SERIES] Halloween 2003 - Trey @ Work (vampire!)

[Threeboy]

okay.. just some jumbled notes.. Trey dissapears for a few strips.. the guys

suddenly notice

<P> Jay: Dude, where the hell is trey?

then they realize that he's been on the computer.. at odd hours of the night

(workin' freelance), and that he barely sleeps.. and his eyes become sensitive

to light, and the guys start to think he's a vampire...

<P> (camera over the shoulder of guys spying on trey): Dude? what's he drinking?

Sobe? NO It's BLOOD... (yeah that's lame)

The guys start to get freaked...

<P> Jay: (reading maxim)
Trey: Hey duder, what's that (looks over jays shoulder)
<P> Jay: (with cross, on floor, holding neck with other strip) BACK OFF MAN!


...

<P> Trey: I must have fallen asleep...
<P> Jay: UNDER A COUCH?!?!
<P> Trey: The light was burning my eyes!

They start to "Test" him...

@Jay make a pizza, with EXTRA garlic...
@Jay's trying to prove to julie...
<P> Jay: hey man, hungry? here, have some pizza....
Trey: Cookass man..
<P> *munch*
<P> Trey: PTOOO! (spit) WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?
<P> Jay: (pointing to trey, looking at julie) SEE!?! SEE?!?
Trey: (pissed) see WHAT!?!

or...

<P> (shines some bright light in treys eyes)
<P> Trey: (On ground, rolling) WTF, my eyes.. they burn..

The whole time the girls can think the guys are idiots (like they usually do)

In some order. I havn't a clue. We might be able to synch this

to halloween :D OH! we can end it on halloween day, by having them stabbing trey and killing him.. then we start off november 1st, with a trey strip as if this entire series never happeend

:D

[Brando]

This one is complex... where to start...

[Threeboy]

start anywhere... if you have an idea for ONE comic, or a single punchline, ANYTHING is good.. we'll work off eachother ;)

[Threeboy]

lets try to get this thing ready for halloween. (soon)

[Brando]

Another idea:

Trey busts his bottle of V8, needs to keep it fresh, puts it in a baggie in the fridge.
They find it, look like blood bag from clinic or something.

[Brando]

Ok, I wrote 3 in an attempt to get this series started, but its too late and not ONE has a frigging punchline. They need serious rehash, but maybe we can take ideas from them, so here they are just in case.

Maybe there is another direction we should take for Halloween? This is tough to get working in 4-panel bursts while still being funny...

Lemme know what you think.

[Brando]

TrueNuff: Nocturnal Reading
<P>
[trey working on computer, clock in BG reads 8:39p]
TREY: Damn deadlines. I can't, nay, WONT sleep until this is done!
<P>
[ Trey still working... face pale, red around eyes, maybe lots of coke empties on desk or something, clock reads 3:33a*]
TREY: Need the tired... I'm not money...
<P>
[Trey face down on desk. Clock reads 11:30a. If screen visible, it should say 'eMail sent' or 'saved' or something to help imply that the work is done...]
TREY: Finally! I'll just sleep for a bit then...
<P>
[Trey at desk... groggy, clock reads 11:21p]
It's bed time, and I just woke up. Might as well get back to work...

*Eternal Darkness reference


TrueNuff: Elementary, Watson. You idiot.
<P>
[@ couch, Jay & Brando hangin']
BRANDO: Have you seen Trey recently?
JAY: Nope. Didn't he have some client work due soon?
<P>
[Jay scratching chin]
BRANDO: Yeah, but I called his place 3 times this afternoon and he's not home.
JAY: Curious...
<P>

BRANDO: The Rob is at Trey's now. His car is there, but he is- What the hell?
<P>
[Jay has mag. glass and Sherlock Holmes hat]
JAY: 'Tis a mystery! Lets go!
<P>
[Shot of Trey's desk. Knocking coming from off screen... Sleep Z's coming from under desk. Maybe shot of a window, outside is Rob's car, a white car with a red/orange roof... hahaha]


[b]TrueNuff: Part of this complete breakfast
<P>
[Trey at desk, big V8 bottle beside him]
TREY: 38 hours, no sleep. Good thing you're here V8. Hey where's the lid?
<P>
[Looking for lid]
TREY: Dammit! V8 is only good fresh!
<P>
[holding a jar]
TREY:Hey, I'll use one of my Mom's hospital jars to keep it in. I KNOW those are sterile.
<P>
[Trey back at desk, V8 all over face, running from corners of mouth]
TREY: Crap, these are hard to drink from...

[Threeboy]

that third one will be awesome if it's got the guys thinking he's a vampire beforehand.

[J.Rai]

TrueNuff: Nocturnal Transmission
<P>
[Trey working on computer, clock in BG reads 10:20 pm]
TREY: Damn deadlines - can't sleep 'til I finish this site!
<P>
[Trey still working... face pale, red around eyes, maybe lots of coke empties on desk or something, clock reads 3:33a*]
TREY: [head hanging low] Need the tired...
[second bubble]I'm not money...
<P>
[Trey face down on desk. Clock reads 10:00am. Light coming in window If screen visible, it should say "FTP upload complete" to help imply that the work is done]
TREY: [lying on couch] Finally! At last I can rest...
<P>[time passage bar: "Several hours later"]
[TV somewhere in frame, picture of vampire on screen]
TV: [square box] Awaken! My children of the night!
[Trey bolts awake on couch]

TrueNuff: Elementary, Watson. You idiot.
<P>
[@ couch, Jay hangin']
BRANDO: [enters] Have you seen Trey recently?
JAY: Nope. Didn't he have some client work to do?
<P>
BRANDO: Yeah, but I called his place 3 times this afternoon and there's no answer.
JAY: [scratching chin] Curious...
<P>
[Brando is holding hand over the mic on the phone as he talks to Jay off screen]
BRANDO: The Rob is at Trey's now. His car is there, but he is- What the hell?
<P>
BRANDO: The phone at Trey's went dead
[Jay has mag. glass and Sherlock Holmes hat]
JAY: 'Tis a mystery! Lets go!
<P>
[Shot of Trey's desk. Knocking coming from off screen... Sleep Z's coming from under desk. Maybe shot of a window, outside is Rob's car, a white car with a red/orange roof... hahaha]
*I don't get the car thing?

[Threeboy]

this is going on the back burner. we'll do this next year or something.. new halloween plan.

[Threeboy]

TrueNuff: Hyperthesis
@ Somehwere, kitchen, negligible
<P> Trey: (standing)
Julie: (standing)
Jay: (holds up light) Standard camping Flashlight, observe.
<P> Jay: (flashes light in trey's eyes)
<P> Trey: rolling around the floor, it burns! AhHhhH!
Jay: I am positvely certian that Trey is INDEED a creature of the night!
<P> Julie: Really?
Jay: Yep.
<P> Julie: Try it on yourself einstein.
Jay: (one brow up)
<P> Jay: Shines night in face
<P> (Jay rolling on floor saying "it burns, it burns!"
<P> Julie: (walking away) I am positvely certian that you are INDEED an idiot.

[Threeboy]

TrueNuff: Underworld (or "dirty epic")
1 @ Jay's pad
2 @ Trey's workstation
<P>
Jay: He sleeps during the day, and is up all night. His eyes are super sensitive to the light... it just all makes sense.
(MORE DIALOG NEEDED / ?)
<P>
Trey: ...and i got sports drinks to see me through the emptiness in my five oh ones*
<P>
(ENTER: Jay, Rob, Brando)
Trey: *sip*
<P>
Trey: Hey guys what's shakin? (red sports drink dribbled down mouth like vampire blood.
(guys look surprised!)


* modified Underworld reference
http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/underworld/dirtyepic.html

[Threeboy]

TrueNuff: Part of this complete breakfast
<P>
[Trey at desk, big V8 bottle beside him]
TREY: 38 hours, no sleep. Good thing you're here V8. Hey where's the lid?
<P>
[Looking for lid]
TREY: Dammit! V8 is only good fresh!
<P>
[holding a jar]
TREY:Hey, I'll use one of my Mom's hospital jars to keep it in. I KNOW those are sterile.
<P>
[Trey back at desk, V8 all over face, running from corners of mouth]
TREY: Crap, these are hard to drink from...

*jacks the start*

<P>
[Trey at desk, big V8 bottle beside him]
TREY: 38 hours, no sleep. Good thing you're here Vee Eight. Hey where's your lid?
<P>
[Looking for lid]
TREY: Dammit! Vate is only good fresh!
<P> Trey: Oh THERE's the lid (bends over to pick it up and neck gets stabbed with fire poker, or weenie roaster.

<P> (explietive)

[Brando]

This series is getting big... I really like hyperthesis.

We need to all be in one place to get this bastard sorted...

Tomorrow.

[Threeboy]

its gonna get big cause i got ideas for the overall story.. including the finalie!

until then post any ideas or strips you got.

[Threeboy]

also, we gotta finish this whole series (no rush) and then count backwards from halloween to END it on halloween.

perhaps frame up trey with a mini "work" series

[Threeboy]

TrueNuff: Steak and Eggs
<P> Jay: You guys hold him down, I'll drive the steak thru his heart.

<P>

<P>

<P>
Rob: (curled up in the corner) He wasn't the head vampire...
Jay: (looking at bloody hands) What have I done... What have I done...


something like that.. just a cliffhanger.. then the next day, bam! back to normal.

[Threeboy]

if we get this to about a dozen strips, october is COVERED.

in times like that, i think we can postpone the 5 comics if more than $100 is donated clause.

[Brando]

Threeboy: trey sleeps in a coffin kegs, cause his eyes are hyper sensitive to light... he wears shades in the day too perhaps.

[Threeboy]

TrueNuff: Part of this complete breakfast (or found & Delirious)
<P>
[Trey at desk, big V8 bottle beside him- trey is a bit dellrious]
TREY: Thirty Eight hours, no sleep. Good thing you're here Vee eight. Hey where's the lid?
<P>
[Looking for lid]
TREY: Dammit! Vate is only good fresh!
<P> Trey: Oh THERE's the lid (bends over to pick it up and neck gets stabbed with fire poker, or weenie roaster.)
<P> Trey: Ouch!
*OR* (or even two strips?)

<P>
[holding a jar]
TREY: Hey, I'll use this hospital jar to keep it in. I KNOW those are sterile.
<P>
[Trey back at desk, V8 all over face, running from corners of mouth]
TREY: Crap, these are hard to drink from...

Perhaps a strip with jay making the car battery torch? The garlic pizza one (read above) is in the same vein).

TrueNuff: Hyperthesis
@ Somehwere, kitchen, negligible
<P> Trey: (standing)
Julie: (standing)
Jay: (holds up light, a car battery with a flashlight on top) I've slightly modified a camping flashlight to test whether Trey is a vampire or not, here he comes, observe.
<P>
Trey: Hey guys, what's...
Jay: (flashes light in trey's eyes)
<P> Trey: (rolling around the floor - holding eyes) it burns! AhHhhH!
Jay: SEE? I am certian that Trey is INDEED a creature of the night!
<P> Julie: Really?
Jay: Yep.
<P> Julie: Try it on yourself Einstein.
Jay: (one brow up)
<P> Jay: Shines night in face
<P> (Jay rolling on floor saying "it burns, it burns!"
<P> Julie: (walking away) I am certain that you are INDEED an idiot.

[Brando]

Trey looks dead tired throughout this series; bags under eyes which are barely open, messed hair, and pale as ghost…
OR
He gets progressively worse…

TrueNuff: Lie can throw pee / (L) I can throw pee
(Brando, Jay, Rob at theater)
<P>
BRANDO: Kate Beckin-something’s pretty cute.
<P>
JAY: Beckinsale? Yeah, she did acts pretty well too.
ROB: Did you say baking sale?
<P>
BRANDO: Do you think vampires could be real and we just don’t know about them?
JAY: Like in Underworld? Perhaps.
<P>
JAY: I would totally be able to kill one too. BAM! Stake through the heart!
BRANDO: Hah… I’ll believe it when I see it, Buffy.
ROB: Seriously! Where’s the baking sale!?

TrueNuff: Nocturnal Transmission
<P>
[Trey working on computer, clock in BG reads 10:20 pm]
TREY: Damn deadlines - can't sleep 'til I finish this site!
<P>
[Trey still working... face pale, red around eyes, maybe lots of coke empties on desk or something, clock reads 3:33a*]
TREY: [head hanging low] Need the tired...
[second bubble]I'm not money...
<P>
[Trey face down on desk. Clock reads 10:00am. Light coming in window & if screen visible, it should say "FTP upload complete" to help imply that the work is done]
TREY: [lying on couch] Finally! At last I can rest...
<P> [time passage bar: "Several hours later"]
[TV somewhere in frame, picture of vampire on screen]
TV: [square box] Awaken! My children of the night!
[Trey bolts awake on couch]

TrueNuff: Elementary Watson, you idiot
<P>
[@ couch, Jay hangin']
BRANDO: [enters] Have you seen Trey recently?
JAY: Nope. Didn't he have some client work to do?
<P>
BRANDO: Yeah, but I called his place 3 times this afternoon and there's no answer.
JAY: [scratching chin] Curious...
<P>
[Jay has magnifying glass and Sherlock Holmes hat]
JAY: 'Tis a mystery! Let’s go Watso!
BRANDO: Right behind you Sherlock Jay!
<P>
[Shot of Trey's desk. Knocking coming from off screen... Sleep Z's coming from under desk.

TrueNuff: Part of this complete breakfast
<P>
[Trey at desk, big V8 bottle beside him- trey is a bit delirious]
TREY: Thirty Eight hours working, shitty under desk naps. Good thing you're here Vee eight. Hey where's your lid?
<P>
[Looking for lid]
TREY: Dammit! Vate is only good fresh!
<P>
Trey: Oh THERE's the lid (bends over to pick it up and neck gets stabbed with weenie roaster.)
<P>
Trey: Ouch!

TrueNuff: Quenching the thirst
<P>
[holding a jar]
TREY: Since I lost the lid AGAIN, I'll use this unused urine sample jar from the hospital to keep it in. I KNOW these are sterile.
<P>
[Trey back at desk, V8 on face, running from corners of mouth]
TREY: Crap, these are hard to drink from... too tired to clean face…
<P>
(in treys house, trey is asleep on a desk)
JAY: Good thing you had that spare key from cat-sitting Watso!
BRANDO: There! He’s asleep! , but he’s been acting strangely, like he’s not human anymore… like he’s –
<P>
(close-up on TREY’s face, his eyes are shut, lying down, ‘bite’ marks visible on his neck and ‘blood’ on face and desk)
OFFCAMERA (two sources? IE they both exclaim at once): A Vampire!

TrueNuff: Hyperthesis
@ night, outside trey’s front door, its dark
<P> (Julie rings doorbell BING BONG)
Julie: (standing) This is insane…
Jay: (holds up a ridiculous contraption; a car battery attached to a headlight on top) I've modified a car headlight to test whether Trey is a vampire or not, here he comes, observe his reaction to light.
<P> (TREY opens door looking tired of course)
Trey: Hey guys, what's...
<P>
Jay: (flashes light in trey's eyes)
TREY: (holding eyes, screaming) Aaargh! It burns!!
<P>
Trey: (rolling around the floor – holding eyes)
Jay: SEE? I am certain that Trey is INDEED a creature of the night!
<P>
Julie: Try it on yourself Einstein.
Jay: (one brow up)
<P>
Jay: Shines night in face
<P>
(Jay rolling on floor saying "it burns, it burns!"
<P>
Julie: (walking away) I am certain that you are INDEED an idiot.

TrueNuff: Fighting bad breath bacteria
<P>
JAY: Our second test will prove that he’s a real vampire!
JULIE: You’ve lost your minds! He’s just tired!
<P>
JAY: Watso specially prepared this pizza using eight whole garlics because vampires hate garlic.
<P> (enter TREY)
JULIE: Did you say eight?
JAY: Shh!
<P>
Jay: Hey man! You hungry? We got some pizza....
Trey: Cookass…
<P>
*munch*
<P> (spits it out with disgusted face)
TREY: PTOOOO!
<P>
Trey: WHAT THE FUCK IS IN THAT?
<P>
Jay: (pointing to trey, looking at julie) SEE!?! SEE?!?
Trey: (pissed) See WHAT!?!

TrueNuff: Stakeout with your stake out
<P> (BRANDO & JAY & ROB hiding in bushes or car)
BRANDO: There he is, what’s he doing?
<P>
(TREY stumbling around outside chasing his cat)
TREY: Dumb cat… Get over here so I can feed you
<P> (shocked looks from B & J & R)
ROB: Did he say ‘get over here so I can eat you’?
JAY: We have to end this before he starts feeding on humans
<P> (getting up / our of car)
JAY: Stakes?
BRANDO: Yup. Where’s Buffy when I need her…
ROBBO: You’d be surprised how often I say that

Friday October 31st 2003
TrueNuff: Stake and Eggs
<P>
Jay: Hold him down! We'll end this right now!
<P> (the big stab!)
<P>
Rob: (curled up in the corner) He wasn't the head vampire...
Jay: (looking at bloody hands) What have I done...
<P>
(big stylized crazy scream)
JAY: WHAT HAVE I DONE!!??


Maybe this can be used…
TrueNuff: TEMP
<P> (JAY and ROB sneaking inside TREY’s house, they are carrying stakes)
ROB: You sure this is necessary?
JAY: We have to make sure he doesn’t get anyone else…
<P> (they meet brando)
BRANDO: No luck, did you find him?
JAY: Nothing.
<P> (TREY pushing lid off Molson Coffin, he’s inside it)
TREY: What a great nap! So dark and cozy in here…

[Brando]

Layout model... I'll email you this document for editing...

http://www.brandonheuser.com/hosted/octobertemp.gif

[Threeboy]

TrueNuff: Lie can throw pee / (L) I can throw pee - baking sale RULES. good intro too.

Nocturnal Transmission - might need work, dont know if it's strong enough, I'll think about it more.

Elementary Watson, you idiot - "watso"! HAHAH

TrueNuff: TEMP - might be able to use this one, but we should imply that his eyes are super sensitive.. also put him in sungalsses for some comics that'd be cool.

also, an idea kicking in my head for as strip, perhaps you can put it together, treys' done working, but he loads up counter-strike... 5AM, one more round... one more round.. you know how it is.. perhaps have some comics with julie / jay / rob talking and then flash to one panel of trey going "ONE MORE ROUND" or someting.

other ideas, somone gets a cut, trey goes "need any help?" and they go "NO" and do the cross fingers thing or something.

i'll make trey progressively paler as the series progresses, try to note that in the scripts if you can :P

TrueNuff: Stake and Eggs - good, but i bet we can amake it better.

time line is good, things will shift (naturally), we got a solid start now that's great, we just gotta flesh in the center more. I wouldn't mind doing a 5 comic week or so "for free" to get timing right.

[Threeboy]

first strip gets a dap, title needs work though :o

we must bust ass on rest!

[Brando]

TrueNuff: Her buns are especially nice (works on so many levels)
(Brando, Jay, Rob at theater)
<P>
BRANDO: Kate Beckin-something’s pretty cute.
<P>
JAY: Beckinsale? Yeah, she acts pretty well too.
ROB: Did you say baking sale?
<P>
BRANDO: Do you think vampires could be real and we just don’t know about them?
JAY: Like in Underworld? Perhaps.
<P>
JAY: I would totally be able to kill one too. BAM! Stake through the heart!
BRANDO: Hah… I’ll believe it when I see it, Buffy.
ROB: Seriously! Where’s the baking sale!?

[Brando]

Stake and eggs... maybe Jay can use the flat end of the stake first... have a big amazing stab panel and then the next is Trey going "dude, shit that hurt man" then "Use the pointy end!!"

So?? I rehashed these 10 ways till sunday when I was writing them... have you 'thought about it' yet? What parts dont you like for example..

Lets hear more info...

[Threeboy]

I gave feedback!

also a funny scene for something might be trey ordering a super rare steak.

also, if you're stumped or stuck on this series, dont force it, go write some other comics, there's alot of stuff that needs to be done

*cough* fanZone :P

[Brando]

Rawk. I'll be on this shit again tonight or tomorrow morning. I'm not going anywhere tomorrow until the party @ roosters.

[Threeboy]

same here now, appointments cancelled.

[Threeboy]

post the revisions yo... we need a new direction :o

[Threeboy]

Tales from the .doc side.

Wednesday October 15th, 2003
TrueNuff: Quenching the thirst
<P> (TREY whiteness factor: 60%)
[holding a jar]
TREY: Since I lost the lid AGAIN, I'll use this unused urine sample jar from the hospital to keep it in. I KNOW these are sterile.
<P>
[Trey back at desk, V8 on face, running from corners of mouth]
TREY: Crap, these are hard to drink from...
<P>
(in treys house, trey is asleep on a desk)
JAY: Good thing you had that spare key from cat-sitting, Watso!
BRANDO: There! He’s asleep! , but he’s been acting strangely. What’s that on his face?
<P>
(close-up on TREY’s face, his eyes are shut, lying down, ‘bite’ marks visible on his neck and ‘blood’ on face and desk)
OFFCAMERA (two sources? IE they both exclaim at once): Blood!

Friday October 17th, 2003
TrueNuff: Hyperthesis
@ night, outside trey’s front door, its dark
<P> (Julie rings doorbell BING BONG, TREY whiteness factor: 70%)
Julie: (standing) This is insane…
Jay: (holds up a ridiculous contraption; a car battery attached to a headlight on top) I've modified a headlight to test whether Trey is a vampire or not, here he comes, observe his reaction to the portable equivalent of daylight.
<P> (TREY opens door looking tired of course)
Trey: Hey guys, what's...
<P>
Jay: (flashes light in trey's eyes)
TREY: (holding eyes, screaming) Aaargh! It burns!!
<P>
Trey: (rolling around the floor – holding eyes)
Jay: SEE? I am certain that Trey is INDEED a creature of the night!
<P>
Julie: Try it on yourself Einstein.
Jay: (one brow up)
<P>
Jay: Shines night in face
<P>
(Jay rolling on floor)
JAY: It burns! It burns!
<P>
Julie: (walking away) I am certain that you are INDEED an idiot.

Monday October 20th, 2003
TrueNuff: Fighting bad breath bacteria
<P> (TREY whiteness factor: 80%)
JAY: Our second test will prove that he’s a real vampire!
JULIE: You’ve lost your minds! He’s just tired!
<P>
JAY: Watso specially prepared this pizza using eight whole garlic because vampires hate garlic.
<P> (enter TREY, in sunglasses)
JULIE: Did you say eight?
JAY: Shh!
<P>
TREY: It’s so bright in here…
Jay: Hey man! You hungry? We got some pizza....
Trey: Cookass…
<P>
*munch*
<P> (spits it out with disgusted face)
TREY: PTOOOO!
<P>
Trey: WHAT THE FUCK IS IN THAT?
<P>
Jay: (pointing to trey, looking at julie) SEE!?! SEE?!?
Trey: (pissed) See WHAT!?!

Wednesday October 22nd , 2003
TrueNuff: Stakeout with your stake out
<P> (BRANDO & JAY & ROB hiding in bushes or car, TREY whiteness factor: 90%)
BRANDO: There he is, what’s he doing?
<P>
(TREY stumbling around outside chasing his cat)
TREY: Dumb cat… Get over here so I can feed you
<P> (shocked looks from B & J & R)
ROB: Did he say ‘get over here so I can eat you’?
JAY: We have to end this before he starts feeding on humans
<P> (getting up / our of car)
JAY: Stakes?
BRANDO: Yup. Where’s Buffy when I need her…
ROBBO: You’d be surprised how often I say that


Friday October 24th, 2003
TrueNuff: Rickards REALLY Red
<P> (Brando is in kitchen, looking in fridge)
BRANDO: All this looking is making me hungry… Maybe he’s got some – BLOOD!!??
<P> (Shot of fridge inside… regular fridge stuff, 2 things must be there: 1) Jar of v8 which looks like blood & 2) a 6-pack of beer, with only one left in it (either a box from bottles, or a plastic ring from cans))
BRANDO: HOLY CRAP JAY COME HERE!
<P> (Jay runs over)
JAY: Watso! What is it?
BRANDO: Look! In the fridge!
<P>
JAY: OH MY GOD! There’s only ONE BEER!


Monday October 27th, 2003
TrueNuff: Dead Soldiers
<P> (JAY and BRANDO sneaking inside TREY’s bathroom, they are carrying stakes)
BRANDO: This bathroom is as empty as the kitchen was.
JAY: Yeah, vampires are good at hiding. I guess it’s a survival thing.
<P> (they meet ROB, BRANDO does the quote thing with his fingers)
BRANDO: Hey Rob! No luck over here in “kitchen and bath”, did you find anything?
ROB: Nope. I didn’t see him while I was in women’s clothing either.
<P> (Rob does quote things)
JAY: Dude, we don’t need to know THAT.
ROB: What? I went like this…
<P> (JAY is looking at the Molson coffin, VOICE is from BRANDO and comes from off-camera)
VOICE: No you didn’t, and that’s disgusting.
JAY: Molson Coffin! Trey won’t mind if I grab myself a cold one…

A potential alternate to this is that they don’t do the quote things, but instead say
“there are no girls living here...”
“ew…”

Friday October 31st 2003
TrueNuff: Stake and Eggs
<P> (TREY whiteness factor: 100%, total whiteness)
Jay: Hold him down! We'll end this right now!
<P> (the big stab!)
<P>
Rob: (curled up in the corner) He wasn't the head vampire...
Jay: (looking at bloody hands) What have I done...
<P>
(big stylized crazy scream)
JAY: WHAT HAVE I DONE!!??

[Threeboy]

*snipped from emails*

Alright, a big flaw with this line up is the jump from Quenching the thirst to Hyperthesis. I suggest we think of some in between that jay tries to explain to the girls the situation, and they think he's on crack.

*also*

also, like i said on the phone there should be more reason for them killing him, i think we're just missing a few critical comics.

the beer one with jay rules.

[Threeboy]

also, another possibility is jay doing something, and trey asking "what's up?" or sometihng getting too close to his neck and next panel having jay with his fingers in the cross formation.

[Threeboy]

trey can dress in all black, cause he forgot to do his laundry and it's the only thing that was clean?

i dont know what angle to take.. do we want it to be they thhink trey is a vampire? or does he keep doing things that make him seem ore and more vampire like? as the series progresses, perhaps have him to the point where he pretty much is one and bites the guys one by one and they begin to go pale, so they have to kill him, but they realize he's not the head vampire.

perhaps the girls dress as vampires for hallween?

trey stands outside "aren't you going to invite me in?"

then we go back to normal?

[Threeboy]

i'm majorly overhauling trey's dialog in today's... making him more crazy... crazy is a good direction.. yes... yes yes... cause at late nights you do go kinda crazy.. yes.. kinda...


THIS

would be so simposns...


a point where somone finds the bottle of V8... and they go "Oh, so it was vee eight all along..." then they move thier finger and look again, and it says "BLOOD FLAVOUR" and then a closeup of the face, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

oh man. it's late.

[Threeboy]

PERHAPPPLES!

trey wakes up, THE GUYS FREAK OUT, and run away... then he goes guys! it's just counter-strike, I know the engine is five years old, but c'mon it's still fun to play

[Threeboy]

when jay's reporting to julie, he can be talking strange and sherlock like and she can be like... WhatT? stop talkign like that, and take off that goofy/rediclous hat!

[Brando]

NEW Friday October 17th?
TrueNuff: Half-Alive
<P> (Trey has just woken up, v8 on face and neck)
TREY: That nap made me hungry…
BRANDO: OH MY GOD LOOK AT YOU!
<P> (Trey is getting up)
TREY: What? If you stayed up all night killing people you’d look bad too!
<P> (JAY has fingers in cross, BRANDO is taking off)
JAY: RUN Watso!
TREY: No wait!
<P> (Trey is calling after them…)
TREY: I KNOW the engine is 5 years old, but Counter-Strike it still FUN, dammit!

[Brando]

UNDATED
TrueNuff: The Unbeliever
<P> (Jay and BRANDO are talking to Julie)
JAY: And ‘e said ‘e was killing people all night!
JULIE: He was probably still half-asleep…
BRANDO: But the BLOOD!!
<P>
JULIE: It must have been something else…
JAY: Nay! ‘is bleemin’ neck was BITTEN
BRANDO: Bleemin’ Bitten!
<P>
JULIE: Ok, first things first. Take off that stupid hat and QUIT TALKING LIKE THAT!
JAY: Right-o. I mean, right.
<P>
JULIE: For me to believe he’s some kinda vampire, you’ll have to get him over here and prove it then…
BRANDO & JAY: (way overexaggerated) GASP!!

[Brando]

Check these out... more holes filled... still nothing about the crew being bitten or anything, I don't know how to fill that in... We can / should? get together this weekend and try and iron more out.


TrueNuff: Half-Alive
<P> (Trey has just woken up, v8 on face and neck)
TREY: That nap made me hungry…
BRANDO: OH MY GOD LOOK AT YOU!
<P> (Trey is getting up)
TREY: What? If you stayed up all night killing people you’d look bad too!
<P> (JAY has fingers in cross, BRANDO is taking off)
JAY: RUN Watso!
TREY: No wait!
<P> (Trey is calling after them…)
TREY: I KNOW the engine is 5 years old, but Counter-Strike it still FUN, dammit!


TrueNuff: The Unbeliever
<P> (Jay and BRANDO are talking to Julie)
JAY: And ‘e said ‘e was killing people all night!
JULIE: He was probably still half-asleep…
BRANDO: But the BLOOD!!
<P>
JULIE: It must have been something else…
JAY: Nay! ‘is bleemin’ neck was BITTEN
BRANDO: Bleemin’ Bitten!
<P>
JULIE: Ok, first things first. Take off that stupid hat and QUIT TALKING LIKE THAT!
JAY: Right-o. I mean, right.
<P>
JULIE: For me to believe he’s some kinda vampire, you’ll have to get him over here and prove it then…
BRANDO & JAY: (way overexaggerated) GASP!!

TrueNuff: Hyperthesis
@ night, outside trey’s front door, its dark
<P> (Julie rings doorbell BING BONG, TREY whiteness factor: 70%)
Julie: (standing) This is insane…
Jay: (holds up a ridiculous contraption; a car battery attached to a headlight on top) I've modified a headlight to test whether Trey is a vampire or not, here he comes, observe his reaction to the portable equivalent of daylight.
<P> (TREY opens door looking tired of course)
Trey: Hey guys, what's...
<P>
Jay: (flashes light in trey's eyes)
TREY: (holding eyes, screaming) Aaargh! It burns!!
<P>
Trey: (rolling around the floor – holding eyes)
Jay: SEE? I am certain that Trey is INDEED a creature of the night!
<P>
Julie: Try it on yourself Einstein.
Jay: (one brow up)
<P>
Jay: Shines night in face
<P>
(Jay rolling on floor)
JAY: It burns! It burns!
<P>
Julie: (walking away) I am certain that you are INDEED an idiot.


TrueNuff: Fighting bad breath bacteria
<P> (TREY whiteness factor: 80%)
JAY: Our second test will prove that he’s a real vampire!
JULIE: You’ve lost your minds! He’s just tired!
<P>
JAY: Watso specially prepared this pizza using eight whole garlic because vampires hate garlic.
<P> (enter TREY, in sunglasses)
JULIE: Did you say eight?
JAY: Shh!
<P>
TREY: It’s so bright in here…
Jay: Hey man! You hungry? We got some pizza....
Trey: Cookass…
<P>
*munch*
<P> (spits it out with disgusted face)
TREY: PTOOOO!
<P>
Trey: WHAT THE FUCK IS IN THAT?
<P>
Jay: (pointing to trey, looking at julie) SEE!?! SEE?!?
Trey: (pissed) See WHAT!?!

TrueNuff: Stakeout with your stake out
<P> (BRANDO & JAY & ROB hiding in bushes or car, TREY whiteness factor: 90%)
BRANDO: There he is, what’s he doing?
<P>
(TREY stumbling around outside chasing his cat)
TREY: Dumb cat… Get over here so I can feed you
<P> (shocked looks from B & J & R)
ROB: Did he say ‘get over here so I can eat you’?
JAY: We have to end this before he starts feeding on humans
<P> (getting up / our of car)
JAY: Stakes?
BRANDO: Check. Where’s Buffy when I need her…
ROBBO: You’d be surprised how often I say that

TrueNuff: Unintelligible
<P> (stumbling around house)
TREY: Dumb cat, it can starve. Dumb friends, THEY’re the crazy ones. Dumb… dumb…
<P> (still stumbling…)
TREY: Need sleep… Really dark... Really quiet…
<P> (Sees Molson Coffin)
TREY: Molson Coffin. No-one disturbs me here…
<P> (Shot of the coffin, lid closed, sleep zzzzz’s coming out of it)

TrueNuff: Rickards REALLY Red
<P> (Brando is in kitchen, looking in fridge)
BRANDO: All this looking is making me hungry… Maybe he’s got some – BLOOD!!??
<P> (Shot of fridge inside… regular fridge stuff, 2 things must be there: 1) Jar of v8 which looks like blood & 2) a 6-pack of beer, with only one left in it (either a box from bottles, or a plastic ring from cans))
BRANDO: HOLY CRAP JAY COME HERE!
<P> (Jay runs over)
JAY: Watso! What is it?
BRANDO: Look! In the fridge!
<P>
JAY: OH MY GOD! There’s only ONE BEER!

TrueNuff: Dead Soldiers
<P> (JAY and BRANDO sneaking inside TREY’s bathroom, they are carrying stakes)
BRANDO: This bathroom is as empty as the kitchen was.
JAY: Yeah, vampires are good at hiding. I guess it’s a survival thing.
<P> (they meet ROB, BRANDO does the quote thing with his fingers)
BRANDO: Hey Rob! No luck over here in “kitchen and bath”, did you find anything?
ROB: Nope. I didn’t see him while I was in women’s clothing either.
<P> (Rob does quote things)
JAY: Dude, we don’t need to know THAT.
ROB: What? I went like this…
<P> (JAY is looking at the Molson coffin, VOICE is from BRANDO and comes from off-camera)
VOICE: No you didn’t, and that’s disgusting.
JAY: Molson Coffin! Trey won’t mind if I grab myself a cold one…

TrueNuff: Awaking the beast
<P>(JAY opens coffin, and screams)
JAY: AAAAH! He’s HERE!
<P> (Shot of TREY in coffin, super pale, covering eyes with one arm, lashing out with the other…)
TREY: Noo! The light! You bastards! I’ll kill you!
<P>
JAY: Bring the stake! Hurry!
TREY: Steak? Mmmm… I hungerrrr!!!
<P>
TREY: No garlic this time! Ahahahahah!!!

TrueNuff: Stake and Eggs
<P> (TREY whiteness factor: 100%, total whiteness)
Jay: Hold him down! We'll end this right now!
<P> (the big stab!)
<P>
Rob: (curled up in the corner) He wasn't the head vampire...
Jay: (looking at bloody hands) What have I done...
<P>
(big stylized crazy scream)
JAY: WHAT HAVE I DONE!!??

[Threeboy]

TrueNuff: Half-Alive - fucking RULES - it gets a *dap* for friday'ge.

TrueNuff: The Unbeliever - dialog needs work, I'll see what I can do, try other things if you can - Punch line also needs work, we might have to take different angle.

TrueNuff: Hyperthesis & TrueNuff: Fighting bad breath bacteria - Might need tweaks in the setup dialog

TrueNuff: Stakeout with your stake out - jay says "before" he feeds on humans, they already think he does. we either have to fix this up or scrappy-doo!

TrueNuff: Unintelligible - no punchline, we might have to scrappy-doo!

TrueNuff: Rickards REALLY Red - AWESOME - Although brando should say something like "I'm hungry, I wonder what trey's got to eat", and then they

also, any chance of them eating and trey asking for a rare steak, and they jay flips out, but then somone goes "JAY, YOU LIKE YOUR STEAKS RARE TOO!" and then jay goes "but but but.." I don't know where I was going.

TrueNuff: Dead Soldiers - they can go "Rob, we didn't have an area code named "womans clothing" and then have a shot of rob redfaced - also this is a cool angle, we can set up this better with another strip perhaps? They go swat style vampire hunting.. and then the guys can get bitten.. like rob gets bit, and then freaks out and wears a scarf and then meets up with the guys, "Why are you wearing a scarf?" "it's cold!" no it's not! and the guys want to kill eachother, but they figure out if they kill trey they can all be sane, they can all go crazy one by one too... HAR this series rocks.

TrueNuff: Dead Soldiers - depending if we ditch this coffin angle, we can still have jay looking for beer and then trey jumping out and biting his neck, that can be the punchline, its still shocking and semi funny... we can end 3 different comics with each of the guys being bitten, but the guys deny it to eachother... it'll be awesome.


HAHAHAHAHH HOW BOUT THIS - they explain the vampire thing to rob.. cause technically he still don't know. and then rob wets his pants, and be like "Uh, I don't belive you guys" - HOW BOUT THAT...ah hadhafh . gah. no. perhpaples? see whta you can do.

TrueNuff: Stake and Eggs - they can be "I don't feel any different... he wasn't the head vampire..." WHAT HAVE WE DONE?!?!?!?

[Brando]

Okies, I'll try rewriting the ending tomorrow morning. I need to sleep now... The new template for tomorrow is in your inbox.

[Threeboy]

gots it, will do it tommorow, i ahve to sleep too. busy days ahead.

[Brando]

Dude, this is hella long. We have a SUNDAY strip because of this, 11 strips in 2 weeks, including 3 8-panelers. You really ARE gonna die this halloween!! Here's a series ending re-write.

http://www.brandonheuser.com/hosted/october.gif

TrueNuff: The Unbeliever
<P> (Jay and BRANDO are talking to Julie)
JAY: And ‘e said ‘e was killing people all night!
JULIE: He was probably still half-asleep…
BRANDO: But the BLOOD!!
<P>
JAY: AND ‘is bleemin’ neck was BITTEN
JULIE: Ok, first things first. Take off that stupid hat and QUIT TALKING LIKE THAT!
<P>
JAY: Right-o. I mean, right.
JULIE: Oh whatever. If he’s a vampire, find a way to prove it.
<P>
BRANDO: She’s right.
JAY: Get your gear, I’ll call Rob.
JULIE: Yeah right. Good one guys. Whatever.

TrueNuff: Hyperthesis
@ night, outside trey’s front door, its dark
<P> (Julie rings doorbell BING BONG, TREY whiteness factor: 70%)
Julie: (standing) This is insane…
Jay: (holds up a ridiculous contraption; a car battery attached to a headlight on top) I've modified a headlight to test whether Trey is a vampire or not, here he comes, observe his reaction to the portable equivalent of daylight.
<P> (TREY opens door looking tired of course)
Trey: Hey guys, what's...
<P>
Jay: (flashes light in trey's eyes)
TREY: (holding eyes, screaming) Aaargh! It burns!!
<P>
Trey: (rolling around the floor – holding eyes)
Jay: SEE? I am certain that Trey is INDEED a creature of the night!
<P>
Julie: Try it on yourself Einstein.
Jay: (one brow up)
<P>
Jay: Shines right in face
<P>
(Jay rolling on floor)
JAY: It burns! It burns!
<P>
Julie: (walking away) I am certain that you are INDEED an idiot.

TrueNuff: Fighting bad breath bacteria
<P> (TREY whiteness factor: 80%)
JAY: Our second test will prove that he’s a real vampire!
JULIE: You’ve lost your minds! He’s just tired!
<P>
JAY: Watso specially prepared this pizza using eight whole garlic because vampires hate garlic.
<P> (enter TREY, in sunglasses)
JULIE: Did you say eight?
JAY: Shh!
<P>
TREY: It’s so bright in here…
Jay: Hey man! You hungry? We got some pizza....
Trey: Cookass…
<P>
*munch*
<P> (spits it out with disgusted face)
TREY: PTOOOO!
<P>
Trey: WHAT THE FUCK IS IN THAT?
<P>
Jay: (pointing to trey, looking at julie) SEE!?! SEE?!?
Trey: (pissed) See WHAT!?!

TrueNuff: Stakeout with your stake out
<P> (BRANDO & JAY & ROB hiding in bushes or car, TREY whiteness factor: 90%)
BRANDO: There he is, what’s he doing?
<P>
(TREY stumbling around outside chasing his cat)
TREY: Dumb cat… Get over here so I can feed you
<P> (shocked looks from B & J & R)
ROB: Did he say ‘get over here so I can eat you’?
JAY: I guess he’s not just feeding on humans
<P> (getting up / our of car)
JAY: Ready?
BRANDO: Check. Where’s Buffy when I need her…
ROB: You’d be surprised how often I say that

TrueNuff: Fully Equipped
<P> (These frames are all one character at a time - Jay is suiting up in dark / camouflage gear, maybe snapping up a vest or pulling on gloves)
JAY: Remember guys, we don’t know what we’re up against so be prepared for anything.
<P> (Brando is suited up already, holding a stake with the ‘safety’ on, it can be an apple stuck to the end, or a potato, or a dolls head, or a sock, or one of those golf-club warmers…)
BRANDO: Roger. Standard assault tactics, and as soon as we enter the house the safety’s are coming off the stakes.
<P> (BRANDO is looking over off frame)
JAY: Uh, you planning to hide in a sporting goods store?
<P> (Rob is suited up, but he’s wearing soccer kneepads and hockey gloves or mittens and jeans and a helmet of something; other non-SWAT gear)
ROB: I brought what I could. Some of us don’t dress-up to play paintball or CS ok!
OFF-CAMERA: Weirdo.

TrueNuff: Rickard’s REALLY Red
<P> (Brando is in kitchen, looking in fridge)
BRANDO: I’m hungry… I wonder what TREY’s got to eat. Raw meat and – BLOOD!!??
<P> (Shot of fridge inside… regular fridge stuff, 3 things must be there: 1) Jar of v8 which looks like blood & 2) a 6-pack of beer, with only one left in it (either a box from bottles, or a plastic ring from cans) 3) some meat)
BRANDO: HOLY CRAP JAY COME HERE!
<P> (Jay runs over)
JAY: What is it?
BRANDO: Look! In the fridge!
<P>
JAY: OH MY GOD! There’s only ONE BEER!

TrueNuff: Midnight Tango
<P> (JAY, BRANDO, ROB are at a window, Brando pushes it open with a small creak, Jay is pointing at a map)
JAY: I’ve got sector Alpha, Brando take sector Bravo, and Rob you take Charlie from behind
ROB: I what?
<P> (creak sound in BG, close-up of trey’s face… all white, eyes fucked up)
TREY: Someone’s here! Great, I’m too tired to see straight and my house is being broken into. No weapons… I’ll have to use my freakin’ teeth…
<P> (Rob walking, TREY is hidden under a desk or behind a wall, something cool looking, maybe you can only see his eyes)
ROB: Smartasses… I don’t believe this vampire crap anyways
<P> (TREY pounces…)

TrueNuff: Contamination
<P> (Rob is getting up, bite mark on his neck)
ROB: Ow…
<P> (Rob feels neck)
ROB: What the? Damn, I think I’ve been bitten! I have to hide it or they’ll think I’m a vampire too!
<P> (JAY and BRANDO running in)
JAY: Are you ok?
BRANDO: We heard a crash!
JAY: Is that a scarf?
<P> (ROB is wearing a scarf)
ROB: It’s cold.
BRANDO: No it –
ROB: I SAID IT’S COLD!

TrueNuff: Insatiable Thirst
<P> (Jay is walking alone now)
JAY: I’m too sober for this. Hey, maybe there’s some beer left in that Molson Coffin…
<P> (Jay leans over open coffin, TREY is sneaking up behind him)
JAY: Damn, it looks empty…
<P> (Trey pounces on him with a crash)
<P> (BRANDO grabs ROB’s scarf and is running)
BRANDO: Oh no! JAY! Let’s go ROB!
ROB: No! Let go of the scarf!

TrueNuff: The Final Unmasking
<P>(Brando and Rob arrive at the coffin, Brando is holding the scarf, Jay is sitting up in the coffin, rubbing head or neck)
BRANDO: What are you doing in a coffin?
<P> (JAY looks at rob)
JAY: I got knocked in when HOLY CRAP YOU’VE BEEN BITTEN! Vampire!
<P> (ROB points back at JAY, BRANDO is backing away, akimbo stakes drawn, one might still have a safety on, that would look funny)
ROB: So have you! YOU’RE a Vampire!
BRANDO: Both of you stay back!
<P> (TREY enters in his bloody, pale, most fugged up glory possible. Maybe he laughs? Maybe he says something?)
TREY: Ahahahahaha!

TrueNuff: Stake and Eggs
<P> (TREY whiteness factor: 100%, total whiteness)
JAY: Grab him!
BRANDO: It might not be too late to save you!
<P> (Grabbing at him, TREY is fighting)
JAY: Hold him still!
<P> (Stabs at Trey, the Safety is on, stake makes soft thuddy sound)
STAKE: *pud*
<P>
JAY: It didn’t work!
BRANDO: Take the safety off!
<P2> (STAB! Stake makes stabby kinda sound)
STAKE: *squelch*
<P> (Near dead body, Stake through the heart, TONS of blood, it should be freakin’ EVERYWHERE)
ROB: I don’t feel any different…
BRANDO: He wasn’t the head vampire… he wasn’t a vampire at all…
<P>
(big stylized crazy scream, maybe Jay looking at sky, camera from above, corpse on ground behind him, again, massive blood action)
JAY: WHAT HAVE I DONE!!??

[Threeboy]

TrueNuff: The Unbeliever - punchline still needs work, there is no punchline as far as I can tell :o

TrueNuff: Hyperthesis - good. we can even change the set up, like they could be in a kitchen and trey walks in... sorta like the next one. Cause I doubt they could get julie to go anywhere, girls are lazy. HAHAH, just kidding.

TrueNuff: Stakeout with your stake out - kind of weak, we could probably cut this if we're one over. I like the title though.

TrueNuff: Fully Equipped - AWESOME. I would tweak robs ending dialog, perhaps just stress paintball/CS, not dressing up since its' not implied.

TrueNuff: Rickard’s REALLY Red - don't say "raw meat & blood" it's good enough with "I wonder what trey has to eat?" - rest is goot.

TrueNuff: Midnight Tango - haha, trey's dialog needs work but it's good angle. I'll do a re-write.

TrueNuff: Contamination - rob doesnt have to say "I got bit, I better hide it" the readers will see his neck bite, ending is awesome.

*** <-- I'll write one for here, where brando gets bitten.

TrueNuff: Insatiable Thirst - it'd be awesome if trey was in the coffin, I'll try to re-write this one too, I got ideas for all of hte "pounce" scenes.

TrueNuff: The Final Unmasking - good start, ending sorta falls apart... they should say "we gotta kill the head vampire or some shit..."


TrueNuff: Stake and Eggs - perhaps brando just says "He wasn’t the head vampire…" or perhaps rob says "he wasn't the head vampire.. he wasn't the head vampire..." and hes' curled up in aball... and brando goes "mabye the girls were right..." ender panel with jay is goot.

We've gotta think what strip to do after this. Ideally I want one with Jay & Trey on the couch with beers in hand, it's what we do best.

IDEA: perhaps trey changes out of his clothes, but all he has is some black clothes? ^_^ also, OH I just thought of one, I'll post below..

Also, no sunday strips, I'd rather do it full week style.

Also, this entire series fucking rocks. I busted out into laughter thinking how retarded we've made them all look, it's awesome. good work! you've taken my framework of a plot and fleshed it out into a kickass series (hopefully we can pull similar feats for christmas!), there are many beers to be had.

[Threeboy]

// just changed the ending
TrueNuff: Midnight Tango
<P> (JAY, BRANDO, ROB are at a window, Brando pushes it open with a small creak, Jay is pointing at a map)
JAY: I’ve got sector Alpha, Brando take sector Bravo, and Rob you take Charlie from behind
ROB: I what?
<P> (creak sound in BG, close-up of trey’s face… all white, eyes fucked up)
TREY: Someone’s here! Great, I’m too tired to see straight and my house is being broken into. No weapons… I’ll have to use my freakin’ teeth…
<P> (Rob walking, TREY is hidden under a desk or behind a wall, something cool looking, maybe you can only see his eyes)
ROB: Smartasses… I don’t believe this vampire crap anyways
<P> (TREY BITES… closeup of rob getting bitten)


TrueNuff: splash!
@ finds a V8 bottle on the floor.
<P> Brando: A clue!
<P> Brando: A bottle of vee eight? Perhaps that's what trey was drinking!
<P> BRANDO: Wait a second...
(close-up of V8 bottle - says BLOOD FLAVOR - Extra pulp?)
<P> BRANDO: AAAAAAAAAAAH! (trey has his teeth sunk into his neck)

// changed where jay gets bitten
TrueNuff: Insatiable Thirst
<P> (Jay is walking alone now)
JAY: I’m too sober for this. Hey, maybe there’s some beer left in that Molson Coffin…
<P> (trey pops out)
JAY: AAAAAAAAAH!
<P> (Trey pounces on him with a crash, has his teeth sunk into his neck)
<P> (BRANDO grabs ROB’s scarf and is running)
BRANDO: Oh no! JAY! Let’s go ROB!
ROB: No! Let go of the scarf!

/// these next ones go like before the above ones, I wrote one with two endings.

TrueNuff: Johnny Cash
@ Trey
<P> Trey: (looks at his shit) WOAH! No wonder the guys were freaked, I look pretty scary!)
<P> Trey: Fuck. Forgot to do the laundry. (hamper full of green shirts, and blue jeans)
<P> Trey: (looking in closet) I wonder what I got back here
<P> Trey: (Dressed in black, but still quite pale, perhaps purple under shirt, like them "trendy" vampires from the movies) There, now I don't look NEARLY as scary.

// perhaps a comic where they see trey approaching the house and then he has to climb thru a window or something and tears up his clothing?

TrueNuff: As Ice
@ two view points, firstly trey / ladies - secondly jay / brando perhaps rob at coffee table overlooking the scene.
<P> Julie: wow, trey looking good.
Kari: yeah!
Trey: thanks ladies, you're too kind. (//this dialog needs MAJOR work)
<P> Jay: see how smooth he's become with the ladies? he MUST be a vampire!
Brando: I don't know, I'm pretty smooth with the ladies too, does that make ME a vampire?
<P> (silence?)
<P> Jay: BAHAHAHAHAH!
Rob: BHAHAHAHAH!
Brando: (visably peeved)



TrueNuff: As Ice @ two view points, firstly trey / ladies - secondly jay / brando perhaps rob at coffee table overlooking the scene.
<P> Julie: wow, trey looking good.
Kari: yeah!
Trey: thanks ladies, you're too kind. (//this dialog needs MAJOR work)
<P> Jay: see how smooth he's become with the ladies? he MUST be a vampire!
Brando: I don't know, I'm pretty smooth with the ladies too, does that make ME a vampire?
<P>
Jay: BAHAHAHAHAH!
Rob: BHAHAHAHAH!
<P> Jay: Haha, good one.
Brando: Shut up.

// these comics raise a few issues now, like we bounce between jay's place and someone else's place.

[Threeboy]

also, this cant go wasted! (well, we *might*)

TrueNuff: Dead Soldiers
<P> (JAY and BRANDO sneaking inside TREY’s bathroom, they are carrying stakes)
BRANDO: This bathroom is as empty as the kitchen was.
JAY: Yeah, vampires are good at hiding. I guess it’s a survival thing.
<P> (they meet ROB, BRANDO does the quote thing with his fingers)
BRANDO: Hey Rob! No luck over here in “kitchen and bath”, did you find anything?
ROB: Nope. I didn’t see him while I was in women’s clothing either.

// perhaps we have them on walkie talkies, and then have the non robs go "We didn't have a place code named womans clothing big guy..." and then classic rob red face?

[Brando]

Ahahaha... I had to quote this before you saw it and made the edit...

TrueNuff: Johnny Cash
@ Trey
<P> Trey: (looks at his shit) WOAH! No wonder the guys were freaked, I look pretty scary!)

[Brando]

RE: "Also, no sunday strips, I'd rather do it full week style. "

How do we do full week style and no sundays with more strips than we have days of the week left?

[Brando]

Unbeliever: See if that's enough of a punhline. I don't want to 'settle', but this one is really stumping me.

Hyperthesis: Set changed.

Stakeout with your Stake Out - CUT!

Fully Equipped: Dialog Tweeked

Rickards REALLY Red: Dialog Tweeked. If Brando doesn't say blood though, then how will the readers know what Brando saw that made him freak out? You'll have to make the blood jar really prominent somehow...

Midnight Tango: Swapped with your ending. Rawk!

Contamination: Rob dialog cut back.

Splash!: Good times. Brando says Vate though :P

I'll post regarding the rest when I come back... good comments!

[Brando]

TrueNuff: The Unbeliever
<P> (Jay and BRANDO are talking to Julie @ Jay’s)
JAY: And ‘e said ‘e was killing people all night!
JULIE: He was probably still half-asleep…
BRANDO: But the BLOOD!!
<P>
JAY: AND ‘is bleemin’ neck was BITTEN
JULIE: Ok, first things first. Take off that stupid hat and QUIT TALKING LIKE THAT!
<P>
JAY: Right-o. I mean, right.
JULIE: Oh whatever. If he’s a vampire, find a way to prove it.
<P>
BRANDO: Let’s put a stake through his heart and see if he dies!
JULIE: Good lord…
JAY: Just get your gear, I’ll call Rob.

TrueNuff: Hyperthesis
(@ Jay’s)
<P> (TREY whiteness factor: 70%)
Julie: This is insane…
Jay: (holds up a ridiculous contraption; a car battery attached to a headlight on top) I've modified a headlight to test whether Trey is a vampire or not, here he comes, observe his reaction to the portable equivalent of daylight.
<P> (TREY enters, looking tired)
Trey: Hey guys, what's...
<P>
Jay: (flashes light in trey's eyes)
TREY: (holding eyes, screaming) Aaargh! It burns!!
<P>
Trey: (rolling around the floor – holding eyes)
Jay: SEE? I am certain that Trey is INDEED a creature of the night!
<P>
Julie: Try it on yourself Einstein.
Jay: (one brow up)
<P>
Jay: Shines right in face
<P>
(Jay rolling on floor)
JAY: It burns! It burns!
<P>
Julie: (walking away) I am certain that you are INDEED an idiot.


TrueNuff: Fighting bad breath bacteria
(@ Jay’s)
<P> (TREY whiteness factor: 80%)
JAY: Our second test will prove that he’s a real vampire!
JULIE: You’ve lost your minds! He’s just tired!
<P>
JAY: Watso specially prepared this pizza using eight whole garlic because vampires hate garlic.
<P> (enter TREY, in sunglasses)
JULIE: Did you say eight?
JAY: Shh!
<P>
TREY: It’s so bright in here…
Jay: Hey man! You hungry? We got some pizza....
Trey: Cookass…
<P>
*munch*
<P> (spits it out with disgusted face)
TREY: PTOOOO!
<P>
Trey: WHAT THE FUCK IS IN THAT?
<P>
Jay: (pointing to trey, looking at julie) SEE!?! SEE?!?
Trey: (pissed) See WHAT!?!

TrueNuff: Fully Equipped
<P> (These frames are all one character at a time - Jay is suiting up in dark / camouflage gear, maybe snapping up a vest or pulling on gloves)
JAY: The best way to learn about someone is to see what they do out of the public eye. But remember, we don’t know what we’re up against so be prepared for anything.
<P> (Brando is suited up already, holding a stake with the ‘safety’ on, it can be an apple stuck to the end, or a potato, or a dolls head, or a sock, or one of those golf-club warmers…)
BRANDO: Roger. Standard assault tactics, and as soon as we enter the house the safety’s are coming off the stakes.
<P> (BRANDO is looking over off frame)
JAY: Uh, you planning to hide in a sporting goods store?
<P> (Rob is suited up, but he’s wearing soccer kneepads and hockey gloves or mittens and jeans and a helmet of something; other non-SWAT gear)
ROB: I brought what I could. Some of us don’t play paintball or CS much, ok?
OFF-CAMERA: Weirdo.

TrueNuff: Rickard’s REALLY Red
<P> (Brando is in kitchen, looking in fridge)
BRANDO: I’m hungry… I wonder what TREY’s got to eat.
<P> (Shot of fridge inside… regular fridge stuff, 3 things must be there: 1) Jar of v8 which looks like blood & 2) a 6-pack of beer, with only one left in it (either a box from bottles, or a plastic ring from cans) 3) some meat)
BRANDO: HOLY CRAP JAY COME HERE!
<P> (Jay runs over)
JAY: What is it?
BRANDO: Look! In the fridge!
<P>
JAY: OH MY GOD! There’s only ONE BEER!

TrueNuff: Midnight Tango
<P> (JAY, BRANDO, ROB are at a window, Brando pushes it open with a small creak, Jay is pointing at a map)
JAY: I’ve got sector Alpha, Brando take sector Bravo, and Rob you take Charlie from behind
ROB: I what?
<P> (creak sound in BG, close-up of trey’s face… all white, eyes fucked up)
TREY: Someone’s here! Great, I’m too tired to see straight and my house is being broken into. No weapons… I’ll have to use my freakin’ teeth…
<P> (Rob walking, TREY is hidden under a desk or behind a wall, something cool looking, maybe you can only see his eyes)
ROB: Smartasses… I don’t believe this vampire crap anyways
<P> (TREY BITES… closeup of rob getting bitten)

TrueNuff: Contamination
<P> (Rob is getting up, bite mark on his neck)
ROB: Ow…
<P> (Rob feels neck)
ROB: What the?
<P> (JAY and BRANDO running in)
JAY: Are you ok?
BRANDO: We heard a crash!
JAY: Is that a scarf?
<P> (ROB is wearing a scarf)
ROB: It’s cold.
BRANDO: No it –
ROB: I SAID IT’S COLD!

TrueNuff: splash!
@ finds a V8 bottle on the floor.
<P> Brando: A clue!
<P> Brando: A bottle of Vate? Perhaps that's what trey was drinking!
<P> BRANDO: Wait a second...
(close-up of V8 bottle - says BLOOD FLAVOR - Extra pulp?)
<P> BRANDO: AAAAAAAAAAAH! (trey has his teeth sunk into his neck

[Threeboy]

Rickards REALLY Red: Dialog Tweeked. If Brando doesn't say blood though, then how will the readers know what Brando saw that made him freak out? You'll have to make the blood jar really prominent somehow...

there will be blood all over :twisted:

[Threeboy]

TrueNuff: The Unbeliever
<P> (Jay and BRANDO are talking to Julie @ Jay’s)
JAY: And ‘e said ‘e was killing people all night!
JULIE: He was probably still half-asleep…
BRANDO: But the BLOOD!!
<P>
JAY: AND ‘is bleemin’ neck was BITTEN
JULIE: Ok, first things first. Take off that stupid hat and QUIT TALKING LIKE THAT!
<P>
JAY: Right-o. I mean, right.
JULIE: Oh whatever. If he’s a vampire, find a way to prove it.
<P>
BRANDO: Let’s put a stake through his heart and see if he dies!
JAY: Good CALL
Julie: (walking off) Good LORD.

// better? don't knows.. lemme knows.

[Brando]

I like that take on unbeliever...

[Brando]

Insatiable Thirst: I took him OUT of the coffin because I thought you said it was wierd to get him into it... Whatever. It's cool this way.

Johnny Cash & As Ice: Seems good. It's in there before the tests.

[Brando]

TrueNuff: The Unbeliever
<P> (Jay and BRANDO are talking to Julie @ Jay’s)
JAY: And ‘e said ‘e was killing people all night!
JULIE: He was probably still half-asleep…
BRANDO: But the BLOOD!!
<P>
JAY: AND ‘is bleemin’ neck was BITTEN
JULIE: Ok, first things first. Take off that stupid hat and QUIT TALKING LIKE THAT!
<P>
JAY: Right-o. I mean, right.
JULIE: Oh whatever. If he’s a vampire, find a way to prove it.
<P>
BRANDO: Let’s put a stake through his heart and see if he dies!
JAY: Good Call
JULIE: Good lord

TrueNuff: Johnny Cash
@ Trey’s place
<P> TREY: (looks at his shit) WOAH! No wonder the guys were freaked, I look pretty scary!)
<P> TREY: Damn; forgot to do the laundry. (hamper full of green shirts, and blue jeans)
<P> TREY: (looking in closet) I wonder what I got back here
<P> TREY: (Dressed in black, but still quite pale, perhaps purple under shirt, like them "trendy" vampires from the movies) There, now I don't look NEARLY as scary.

TrueNuff: As Ice
@ two view points, firstly trey / ladies - secondly jay / brando perhaps rob at coffee table overlooking the scene.
<P>
Julie: Wow! Looking good!
Kari: Yeah!
Trey: That’s most generous, but I assure you the light of beauty has been shined entirely into the two angels before me.
<P>
Jay: See how smooth he's become with the ladies? he MUST be a vampire!
Brando: I don't know, I'm pretty smooth with the ladies too; does that make ME a vampire?
<P>
Jay: BAHAHAHAHAH!
Rob: BHAHAHAHAH!
<P>
Jay: Aw man, good one.
Brando: Shut up.

TrueNuff: Hyperthesis
(@ Jay’s)
<P> (TREY whiteness factor: 70%)
Julie: This is insane…
Jay: (holds up a ridiculous contraption; a car battery attached to a headlight on top) I've modified a headlight to test whether Trey is a vampire or not, here he comes, observe his reaction to the portable equivalent of daylight.
<P> (TREY enters, looking tired)
Trey: Hey guys, what's...
<P>
Jay: (flashes light in trey's eyes)
TREY: (holding eyes, screaming) Aaargh! It burns!!
<P>
Trey: (rolling around the floor – holding eyes)
Jay: SEE? I am certain that Trey is INDEED a creature of the night!
<P>
Julie: Try it on yourself Einstein.
Jay: (one brow up)
<P>
Jay: Shines right in face
<P>
(Jay rolling on floor)
JAY: It burns! It burns!
<P>
Julie: (walking away) I am certain that you are INDEED an idiot.


TrueNuff: Fighting bad breath bacteria
(@ Jay’s)
<P> (TREY whiteness factor: 80%)
JAY: Our second test will prove that he’s a real vampire!
JULIE: You’ve lost your minds! He’s just tired!
<P>
JAY: Watso specially prepared this pizza using eight whole garlic because vampires hate garlic.
<P> (enter TREY, in sunglasses)
JULIE: Did you say eight?
JAY: Shh!
<P>
TREY: It’s so bright in here…
Jay: Hey man! You hungry? We got some pizza....
Trey: Cookass…
<P>
*munch*
<P> (spits it out with disgusted face)
TREY: PTOOOO!
<P>
Trey: WHAT THE FUCK IS IN THAT?
<P>
Jay: (pointing to trey, looking at julie) SEE!?! SEE?!?
Trey: (pissed) See WHAT!?!

TrueNuff: Fully Equipped
<P> (These frames are all one character at a time - Jay is suiting up in dark / camouflage gear, maybe snapping up a vest or pulling on gloves)
JAY: The best way to learn about someone is to see what they do out of the public eye. But remember, we don’t know what we’re up against so be prepared for anything.
<P> (Brando is suited up already, holding a stake with the ‘safety’ on, it can be an apple stuck to the end, or a potato, or a dolls head, or a sock, or one of those golf-club warmers…)
BRANDO: Roger. Standard assault tactics, and as soon as we enter the house the safety’s are coming off the stakes.
<P> (BRANDO is looking over off frame)
JAY: Uh, you planning to hide in a sporting goods store?
<P> (Rob is suited up, but he’s wearing soccer kneepads and hockey gloves or mittens and jeans and a helmet of something; other non-SWAT gear)
ROB: I brought what I could. Some of us don’t play paintball or CS much, ok?
OFF-CAMERA: Weirdo.

TrueNuff: Rickard’s REALLY Red
<P> (Brando is in kitchen, looking in fridge)
BRANDO: I’m hungry… I wonder what TREY’s got to eat.
<P> (Shot of fridge inside… regular fridge stuff, 3 things must be there: 1) Jar of v8 which looks like blood & 2) a 6-pack of beer, with only one left in it (either a box from bottles, or a plastic ring from cans) 3) some meat)
BRANDO: HOLY CRAP JAY COME HERE!
<P> (Jay runs over)
JAY: What is it?
BRANDO: Look! In the fridge!
<P>
JAY: OH MY GOD! There’s only ONE BEER!

TrueNuff: Midnight Tango
<P> (JAY, BRANDO, ROB are at a window, Brando pushes it open with a small creak, Jay is pointing at a map)
JAY: I’ve got sector Alpha, Brando take sector Bravo, and Rob you take Charlie from behind
ROB: I what?
<P> (creak sound in BG, close-up of trey’s face… all white, eyes fucked up)
TREY: Someone’s here! Great, I’m too tired to see straight and my house is being broken into. No weapons… I’ll have to use my freakin’ teeth…
<P> (Rob walking, TREY is hidden under a desk or behind a wall, something cool looking, maybe you can only see his eyes)
ROB: Smartasses… I don’t believe this vampire crap anyways
<P> (TREY BITES… closeup of rob getting bitten)

TrueNuff: Contamination
<P> (Rob is getting up, bite mark on his neck)
ROB: Ow…
<P> (Rob feels neck)
ROB: What the?
<P> (JAY and BRANDO running in)
JAY: Are you ok?
BRANDO: We heard a crash!
JAY: Is that a scarf?
<P> (ROB is wearing a scarf)
ROB: It’s cold.
BRANDO: No it –
ROB: I SAID IT’S COLD!

TrueNuff: splash!
@ finds a V8 bottle on the floor.
<P> Brando: A clue!
<P> Brando: A bottle of Vate? Perhaps that's what trey was drinking!
<P> BRANDO: Wait a second...
(close-up of V8 bottle - says BLOOD FLAVOR - Extra pulp?)
<P> BRANDO: AAAAAAAAAAAH! (trey has his teeth sunk into his neck

TrueNuff: Insatiable Thirst
<P> (Jay is walking alone now)
JAY: I’m too sober for this. Hey, maybe there’s some beer left in that Molson Coffin…
<P> (trey pops out)
JAY: AAAAAAAAAH!
<P> (Trey pounces on him with a crash, has his teeth sunk into his neck)
<P> (BRANDO grabs ROB’s scarf and is running)
BRANDO: Oh no! JAY! Let’s go ROB!
ROB: No! Let go of the scarf!

TrueNuff: The Final Unmasking
<P>(Brando and Rob arrive at the coffin, Brando is holding the scarf, Jay is sitting up in the coffin, rubbing head or neck)
BRANDO: What are you doing in a coffin?
<P> (JAY looks at rob)
JAY: I got knocked in when HOLY CRAP YOU’VE BEEN BITTEN! Vampire!
<P> (ROB points back at JAY, BRANDO is backing away, akimbo stakes drawn, one might still have a safety on, that would look funny)
ROB: So have you! YOU’RE a Vampire!
BRANDO: Both of you stay back!
<P> (TREY enters in his bloody, pale, most fugged up glory possible. Maybe he laughs? Maybe he says something?)
TREY: Ahahahahaha!

TrueNuff: Stake and Eggs
<P> (TREY whiteness factor: 100%, total whiteness)
JAY: Grab him!
BRANDO: It might not be too late to save you!
<P> (Grabbing at him, TREY is fighting)
JAY: Hold him still!
<P> (Stabs at Trey, the Safety is on, stake makes soft thuddy sound)
STAKE: *pud*
<P>
JAY: It didn’t work!
BRANDO: Take the safety off!
<P2> (STAB! Stake makes stabby kinda sound)
STAKE: *squelch*
<P> (Near dead body, Stake through the heart, TONS of blood, it should be freakin’ EVERYWHERE)
ROB: he wasn’t the head vampire… he wasn’t the head vampire…
BRANDO: The girls were right…
<P>
(big stylized crazy scream, maybe Jay looking at sky, camera from above, corpse on ground behind him, again, massive blood action)
JAY: WHAT HAVE I DONE!!??

[Brando]

I didnt put the other one back in yet, we truly have nowhere for it to go.

I'll template some when I get back from dinner and have talked to you...

[Threeboy]

TrueNuff: The Unbeliever - *dap*

TrueNuff: Johnny Cash - *dap*

(we could probably switch the order above)

TrueNuff: As Ice - *dap*

TrueNuff: Hyperthesis - timing... trey should be talking and getting flashed in the second panel, that changes the comic up a bit...

TrueNuff: Fighting bad breath bacteria - julie says something perhaps? "i see you're a dumbass"

TrueNuff: Fully Equipped - should rob just say "some of us don't play paintball much, okay?"

TrueNuff: Rickard’s REALLY Red - *dap*

TrueNuff: Midnight Tango - rob should be yelling, then it's a *dap*

TrueNuff: Contamination - *dap*

TrueNuff: splash! - *dap*

TrueNuff: Insatiable Thirst - trey can go "rawr" or something hahhhhaa

TrueNuff: The Final Unmasking - needs work.. dont know yet.

TrueNuff: Stake and Eggs - BRANDO: MAYBE The girls were right…

[Threeboy]

dude. we're screwed again. check the comics, we have one extra.

see if you can merge final unmasking & steake & eggs into an 8 paneler? it migh be our only frickin hope.

[Brando]

yeah, im doing it now

[Brando]

Halloween is a goddamn <P12>!!!!

TrueNuff: Rickard’s REALLY Red
<P> (Brando is in kitchen, looking in fridge)
BRANDO: I’m hungry… I wonder what TREY’s got to eat.
<P> (Shot of fridge inside… regular fridge stuff, 3 things must be there: 1) Jar of v8 which looks like blood & 2) a 6-pack of beer, with only one left in it (either a box from bottles, or a plastic ring from cans) 3) some meat)
BRANDO: HOLY CRAP JAY COME HERE!
<P> (Jay runs over)
JAY: What is it?
BRANDO: Look! In the fridge!
<P>
JAY: OH MY GOD! There’s only ONE BEER!

TrueNuff: Midnight Tango
<P> (gang is in the kitchen - Jay is pointing at a map)
JAY: I’ve got sector Alpha, Brando take sector Bravo, and Rob you take Charlie from behind
ROB: I what?
<P> (creak sound in BG, close-up of trey’s face… all white, eyes fucked up)
TREY: Someone’s here! Great, I’m too tired to see straight and my house is being broken into. No weapons… I’ll have to use my freakin’ teeth…
<P> (Rob walking, TREY is hidden under a desk or behind a wall, something cool looking, maybe you can only see his eyes)
ROB: Smartasses… I don’t believe this vampire crap anyways
<P> (TREY BITES… closeup of rob getting bitten, Rob is yelling)

TrueNuff: Contamination
<P> (Rob is getting up, bite mark on his neck)
ROB: Ow…
<P> (Rob feels neck)
ROB: What the?
<P> (JAY and BRANDO running in)
JAY: Are you ok?
BRANDO: We heard a crash!
JAY: Is that a scarf?
<P> (ROB is wearing a scarf)
ROB: It’s cold.
BRANDO: No it –
ROB: I SAID IT’S COLD!

TrueNuff: splash!
@ finds a V8 bottle on the floor.
<P> Brando: A clue!
<P> Brando: A bottle of Vate? Perhaps that's what trey was drinking!
<P> BRANDO: Wait a second...
(close-up of V8 bottle - says BLOOD FLAVOR - Extra pulp?)
<P> BRANDO: AAAAAAAAAAAH! (trey has his teeth sunk into his neck

TrueNuff: Insatiable Thirst
<P> (Jay is walking alone now)
JAY: I’m too sober for this. Hey, maybe there’s some beer left in that Molson Coffin…
<P> (trey pops out)
JAY: AAAAAAAAAH!
<P> (Brando, holding neck or rubbing head, hears the scream)
BRANDO: Oh no! Jay!
<P> (BRANDO runs by and grabs ROB’s scarf to pull him along)
BRANDO: Let’s go Rob!
ROB: No! Let go of the scarf!

TrueNuff: The Final Unmasking
<P>(Brando and Rob arrive at the coffin, Brando is holding the scarf, Jay is sitting up in the coffin, rubbing head or neck)
BRANDO: What are you doing in a coffin?
<P> (JAY looks at rob)
JAY: I got knocked in when HOLY CRAP YOU’VE BEEN BITTEN! Vampire!
<P> (ROB points back at JAY, BRANDO is backing away, akimbo stakes drawn, one might still have a safety on, that would look funny)
ROB: So have you! So has he! What the hell?
BRANDO: Trey really is a vampire!
<P> (TREY enters in his bloody, pale, most fugged up glory possible.)
TREY: Get out of my house!
<P> (TREY whiteness factor: 100%, total whiteness)
JAY: Grab him!
BRANDO: It might not be too late to save us!
<P> (Grabbing at him, TREY is fighting)
JAY: Hold him still!
<P> (Stabs at Trey, the Safety is on, stake makes soft thuddy sound)
STAKE: *pud*
<P>
JAY: It didn’t work!
BRANDO: Take the safety off!
<P2> (STAB! Stake makes stabby kinda sound)
STAKE: *squelch*
<P> (Near dead body, Stake through the heart, TONS of blood, it should be freakin’ EVERYWHERE)
ROB: he wasn’t the head vampire… he wasn’t the head vampire…
BRANDO: Maybe the girls were right…
<P>
(big stylized crazy scream, maybe Jay looking at sky, camera from above, corpse on ground behind him, again, massive blood action)
JAY: WHAT HAVE I DONE!!??

[Threeboy]

and that's a *dap*

[Threeboy]

a mighty massive *PUD*